Law is a business. So, this blog is actually against my financial interests because I am here to tell you what you should NOT pay your family law attorney to do:
- Referee day-to-day, ordinary parenting disputes: Fighting through lawyers over day-to-day, ordinary parenting disputes, can come with a high price tag, both emotionally and financially. When I say “day-to-day, ordinary parenting disputes”, I’m talking about, for example, mom feeding the kids non-organic instead of organic hot dogs; dad returning the children a few minutes late from parenting time; objections by one parent to other parent getting the child a haircut without prior consent—the list goes on and on. Parents will have to co-parent with each other long after the lawyers are gone. Sending the message during the litigation that day-to-day parenting decisions cannot be navigated without lawyers engenders acrimony and unnecessary fees. To the extent possible, parents should pick up the phone and try to figure it out.
- Act as your therapist: In the course of family law representation, I learn a lot about a client’s life. I may learn why their marriage broke up, why their kids are estranged from them, how their new relationship is going, how much they earn, and other personal—sometimes very personal—facts. Naturally, conversations transition from facts to feelings. As much as I do enjoy getting to know clients and understand the very human element to family law, I am a counselor at law, not a counselor at life. Moreover, in comparing hourly rates, most family lawyers are more expensive than therapists.
- Fight about ordinary personal property: I’m not talking about a Van Gogh painting or a Cartier watch…those items may well be worth the fight. I’m talking about tables, chairs, bed frames, mattresses, pots, pans…ordinary household items. Once these items were brought home they drastically depreciated in value. Your five-year-old mattress isn’t going to have much, or any, value on the open market. Paying lawyers to fight over ordinary personal property is not a wise use of your money.
4. Advise you about taxes and finances: I am not an accountant nor am I a financial advisor. Tax returns, tax issues, and finances are a daily part of a matrimonial practice. But, simply because a client’s finances are part of the equation, does not mean that a family lawyer is qualified to offer advice on them.